Funny Marriage Quotes About What Love Is

Put Yourself Out There!

Sometimes, love’s funny
O, love, love, love!
Love is like a dizziness;
It winna let a poor body
Gang about his biziness!

As for me, Uncle, all I can say is, that I think marriage a very shocking business. How can one endure the thought of lying by the side of a man, who is really naked?

The heart of a spinster of thirty-six is a well of tolerance.

In the light of today's modern woman, these are pretty funny marriage quotes, aren't they? And for advice about how to get out of buying those bridesmaids' dresses that languish in your closet, read on for one woman's solution...

As a cousin of the bridegroom, Miss Bart had been asked to act as bridesmaid; but she had declined on the plea that, since she was much taller than the other attendant virgins, her presence might mar the symmetry of the group.

“Here [In the United States] you are all connected by marriage, and there [Europe] they are all connected by divorce.”

Owen Wister, from Lady Baltimore

*Note - Owen Wister is seldom given his due in studies of the Western Canon. His writing sparkles with wit - and funny marriage quotes generously season his pages.

Remember that Nature makes every man love all women, and trusts the trivial matter of special choice to the commonest accident.

Atlantic Monthly

Love is universal

How they do it on the “Continent” “Mercy, no! Divorce is stupid. They don’t like it in Europe.”

Edith Wharton from The Hermit and the Wild Woman

"Well, one evening I met her at the sliprails, and presently I asked her, for a joke, if she'd marry me. Mind you, I never wanted to marry _her_; I was only curious to know whether any girl would have me. "At last the place got too hot for me. I got sick of dodging that girl. I sent a mate of mine to tell her that it was all a joke, and that I was already married in secret; but she didn't see it, then I cleared, and got a job in Newcastle, but had to leave there when my mates sent me the office that she was coming. I wouldn't wonder but what she is humping her swag after me now. In fact, I thought you was her in disguise when I set eyes on you first....You needn't get mad about it; I don't mean to say that you're quite as ugly as she was, because I never saw a man that was--or a woman either.

Anyway, I'll never ask a woman to marry me again unless I'm ready to marry her."

If some god should come to me and say, "Henceforth thou shalt live a loveless life," I should demur to his decree, so sweet a plague is woman.

“The dear fellow! I do wish he would marry some nice girl. I told him so today, but he said he didn’t care for the really nice ones, and the other kind didn’t care for him-but that was just his joke, of course. He could never marry a girl who WASN’T nice. Oh, my dear, did you ever see such pearls?”

“So glad I’ve no daughters to marry! Well-I must go draw some money.”

"He's a stupid sort of a fellow, and I think she was quite right," said Lizzie. "I'd never marry a man merely because I said I would. If I found I didn't like him, I'd leave him at the altar. I'd leave him any time I found I didn't like him. It's all very well to talk of aroma, but to live with a man you don't like—is the devil."

At Love You Love Quotes, there exists a special fondness for funny marriage quotes. Literature runs rampant with them, for the institution of marriage breeds many occasions for humor, does it not?

I have been asked where I find these funny marriage quotes. I collect most of them from literature searches. And, too, since I myself am married, the humor of daily life presents me with more than a few of my own.

Leave funny marriage quotes for some marriage advice from a 19th c. Chauvinist.

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